Balancing Life Series: Not Bound by Time

I look back at the last month and wonder how I did not go crazy. (All those who think I did, please do not correct me.) It is amazing to me how we managed to juggle everything. 

photo credit

In the midst of normal family duties, taking care of my mom during chemo and the aftereffects, continuing ministry, I had a writing deadline for a magazine. I was so excited about the opportunity, but freaked out that I was not going to finish not one, but FOUR articles for this magazine.


I sent in my first article on time. Done. I did my research for the other three that were not due for another couple of weeks. It's a good thing. Because right after that, life went full speed throttle. 


My deadline for the other three articles was quickly approaching. It was my mom's chemo week and I felt quite certain that while she was receiving chemotherapy, I could work on my articles on my laptop. Plan fail. She needed me. During her long day at the cancer center, I managed to open my laptop for 20 minutes max. 


My other attempts that week to finish the articles failed. I had to take my daughter to an out-of-town science fair. My laptop stayed in the car the entire time because I realized that I needed to be "present" for her. (Her team of three home schoolers ended up winning, by the way!) I spent the next day at the office trying to catch up on ministry and the laptop remained untouched. This was Thursday. My man's birthday. My deadline was Friday morning. 


Needless to say, I was a little frantic. I had my research and half-written, unedited articles, but nothing completed. And now, my mind was very preoccupied with other things. Important things. I sent the editor an email and asked to extend the deadline until the end of the day on Friday. I didn't hear from him. So at 10:30 pm, Thursday night I began to pray for God to supernaturally enlighten me. Seriously. I put my hands to the computer and prayed that my half-written work would be completed. The longer I attempted to type, the crazier my sentences got. I was exhausted...physically, emotionally, and spiritually. How could I possibly formulate thoughts that would make sense?


Still no answer from the editor about the extended few hours for the deadline. I finally gave up and went to bed. I knew that these articles were due in the morning. I dozed off, praying that God would help me. I know Him as the God Who Sees. I know Him as the God Who Provides. I know Him as the God Who Hears. 


3:30 am. I awaken. Wide awake. Yes! God woke me up so that I could go write. Yes! Except that in my heart, I did not feel like that was why God awakened me. To my surprise, and honestly my distress, I felt He was telling me to lay there awake and pray and rest. 


I questioned Him. "Do you know I am really awake, Lord, and that some of my best writing occurs at 3:30 am? Are you sure I can't get up and finish these articles that are due in FIVE hours?" But, as best as I can hear God at 3:30 am, I really felt like He said, "I will bless you for doing what I am calling you to do. Rest and pray." So, from 3:30 to 5:30 am, I prayed. I prayed for Mom. For Dad. For healing. For my family. For my extended family. For grace. For love. For mercy. For my friends who were suffering. For my church family. For missionaries. For my ministry. For my calling. For anything and anyone God brought to my mind during those hours. 


At 5:30 am, I fell asleep and I slept until 6:15 when I had to get up and start getting ready for the day. After a quick cup of coffee and a peanut butter slathered waffle, I sat down at the computer. I was ready to write.


I decided to check my email. And there it was. An email from the editor of the magazine. He told me not only to take until the end of the day on Friday, but to take the weekend to finish the articles. To say I was relieved was an understatement.  I was incredibly grateful for the extension. 


And then I read the time stamp on the editor's email.


3:30 am. 


In God's economy, time is never wasted. In fact, it is usually multiplied. He is not bound by time. He can actually make time abound.


He is faithful, friends.

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; 

His mercies never come to an end; 

  they are new every morning; 

great is Your faithfulness. 

“The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, 

“therefore I will hope in Him.” 

I would love to know how God has blessed you lately. Maybe with extra energy? Time? Please share below or here if reading by email. We celebrate the faithfulness of God! 

Living for ONE,

Kelli


If you are joining this series on Balancing Life today, you might want to go back and read the previous articles.


A Balancing Act: Juggling Life


First Things First


Priorities vs. Reality

My Life on the Mine Train

I remember it vividly. As we loaded onto the cars that would take us up and down and twisting and turning, there was a mixture of fear and thrill. You know that blending of emotions that causes you to want to throw up and jump up and down simultaneously. The fear starts to produce doubts, but the opportunity of a thrill enables you to get on this crazy roller coaster.

Yes, we climbed into our two-passenger seats and waited for the rote instruction... "Arms up as the safety bar comes down and locks in front of you." Except it didn't come down. The safety bar did not come down! We screamed for help and for the attendant to stop the train from beginning to move, but no one could hear us above all the other noise.

Thrill seemed to fade quickly as we literally hung on for life to the front of our car. Thankfully, there were only minor turns and hills before we saw another attendant. As we ascended onto one of the major hills, we yelled for the attendant to stop the train and pull down the safety bar. Once again, we were not heard. By now fear was our faithful attender. My aunt who was in the car with me did her best to support my twelve year old frame. The mine train coaster was in full motion now and we were about to rise to our highest peak. 

There at the top of the biggest hill was another attendant. Screaming at the top of our voices, we frantically yelled for the car to stop. Finally we were heard. The coaster was halted. Our safety bar which served as a belt to hold us in finally came down around our waists. Relief does not describe our feelings. Had we not been protected with the safety bar at that time, we most likely would have been thrown from the cars and badly injured.

My life has resembled that crazy mine train roller coaster lately. 

I am having my first article published in a printed magazine in April. UP.

My parents are both going through cancer treatment right now - Mom in chemo and Dad in radiation. DOWN.

My speaking ministry is taking off and I am so excited to see what God is going to do! TWIST.

My house is so disorganized, it is a miracle that I ever get anything accomplished. TURN.

Just spent the weekend with my husband of 20 years ministering together at a Marriage conference. UP.

There are relationships in my life that desperately need healing. DOWN.

You get the picture. There are times I jump on board this roller coaster called life with that same mixture of fear and thrill. And there are times that I wonder if Someone forgot to pull down the safety bar. I feel out of control. Desperate. I cry out and don't feel heard at times.

BUT JESUS. Even though life is crazy, unpredictable, lonely, and broken, we have a GOD WITH US. We have a GOD WHO SEES. We have a GOD WHO HEARS AND LISTENS. We have a PROTECTOR and a PROVIDER. JESUS is our SAFETY BAR. He is our ATTENDANT. He will never leave us or forsake us. He LOVES US! 

I hold on to you for dear life,

and you hold me steady as a post.  Psalm 63:8

Friend, whatever you are going through, I want you to know that God loves you and He will never abandon you. Even when you feel you are not being heard, He is there. Trust Him. He has a plan for your life and it is greater than you could ever ask or imagine. I feel that we are a community here. I have shared some of my struggles, would you share yours, so we can pray for you?

Living for ONE,


Kelli 


joining in with Jen at SDG...come join us!

A Date with the ONE and ONLY

It was a morning I would rather forget. Life seemed to be going so smoothly, so well. And then it all seemed to fall apart in a matter  of minutes. 

Ever had one of those days? The more I tried to fix things, the worse they got. 

I had been invited to attend a women's ministry Christmas gathering later that night. That was the last thing I wanted to do. After all, I would be surrounded by cheery voices and laughter. I just didn't feel cheery and laugh-y. 

I argued with God for a while about going. He nudged. I resisted. He paved a way for me to go when my sweet husband volunteered to watch the children. I finally gave in.

All the way there, I cried. Seriously, Lord? This is supposed to be a happy event -- I do not want to show up with a white-washed face with swollen eyes. I do not want my pain to be visible!

I walked in the door of this very welcoming home with my Apple Dump Cake in hand. Just as I had suspected, I was met with smiling faces and warm hearts. Ordinarily, I would have been so excited to be with other women and share such sweet fellowship. But today was different. I really wanted to go dig a hole, crawl in it, and somehow disappear from life for a while.

I reluctantly joined a few conversations. Then our women's ministry leader who is a sweet friend of mine explained to me that there were "reflection" stations scattered throughout the house.

The stations were all different. One had a board on which to post prayer requests and pray for others. Another station had some Scripture to read and offer reflection. The third station was near the fireplace and had a cross. The cross was to remind us that Jesus carries our burdens -- whatever they are. My eyes welled up.

But it was the final station that got me. There was a basket filled with small rolled up pieces of paper. We were to take one as a gift from Jesus. I assumed that these papers would contain words of affirmation, words of hope, words of love. This excited me as God knew I needed that, especially today. I opened my small yellow scroll slowly, anticipating what God may say to me. And this is what He said:

I wept. I actually had to excuse myself. 


One of the reasons this was so profound and so personal for me is that a few weeks prior to this I had gone to Starbucks while I was waiting for my daughter during drama practice. I had taken my journal and Ann Voskamp's One Thousand Gifts with me. I approached chapter 7, "Seeing Through the Glass." The more I read, the more I cried. Right there in the middle of Starbucks. God spoke in volumes that night and I declared that Starbucks was a date venue for me and God. 


So, you know how much this little yellow scroll of intimate words meant to me. Yes, there was a gift card waiting for me on the fridge. Yes, anyone would have been happy to receive this token. But for me, it was a reminder to me that the God of the Universe knows me intimately. He knows when I am having a terrible, no-good day and I need to know He is still in control. 


I am continuing my Love List today. I know this post is long. But I wanted you to know that I LOVE the fact that my God, our God, is so very personal. He longs for intimacy with us. He desires deep relationship. And He loves us like no other. 


Whatever kind of day you are having, or whatever trial you are going through, God wants to be WITH YOU. He is GOD WITH US. I would love to hear from you and pray for you.


Now go...

He is waiting. (Maybe even at Starbucks!)


Living for ONE,




Kelli


Linking with Jen at 

Can you Hear ME Now?: On Purpose Wednesdays

I couldn't do anything about it. I was in front of the room being interviewed as one of the retreat speakers and I heard it. My cell phone. I had forgotten to put it on vibrate when the session started. Now, I was being asked about my family and my hopes for the weekend and I could hear my cell phone talking in the back of the room. You see, I have one of those old wonderful cell phones that announce the caller out loud! (I have had it for over three years and have yet to figure out how to turn that announcer off.) So here I was helpless in the front of the room with my incessant phone repeating something over and over again.  I couldn't hear what it said, but I knew it was my phone. 

After the speaker interview session, we had a break and I went to the restroom. As I stood in line, (you know how we have to do that with lots of women and three stalls) my friend Jennifer inquired, "Did you hear that cell phone talking in the back?" I was embarrassed to tell her that it was mine. She asked, "Did you hear what it said?" I told her that I did not have a chance to go check it because I came straight to the restroom. (You know, borderline emergency.) She said, "I wrote down what it said. It spoke volumes to me." I was confused. My cell phone announcer had spoken volumes to someone who had to listen to its incessant announcing? Jennifer explained, "Your cell phone kept repeating...PLEASE ERASE OLD MESSAGES."  

I ran and grabbed my phone out of my purse and this was on the face of my phone:

The God who created the Universe and me, the God whose love for me is wide and high and deep and long, that same God has a message for me. But I have rejected that message many times because my recent memory bank was full of lies, labels, and false perceptions. 

"You are not good enough."

"Quit while you are ahead so that they won't think you're crazy."

"You are ugly...inside and out."

"You have no message worth hearing. Why do you think you have been called to speak and write?"

"You are worthless."

"You are a bad mom, a pitiful wife, and a terrible friend."

"You are alone in this world. No one really cares about you."

So for me to really walk in the calling that God has for me (as we talked about on Monday,) I must erase old messages. I have to intentionally remove those false, deceptive messages about myself so that I can fully embrace God's beautiful message of love, grace, hope, mercy, AND purpose. 

How do we do that?

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:5

We have to erase and demolish every old message,thought, argument, pretension, philosophy and thought that is contrary to who God is and who we are in Him. 

Please erase old messages so that I can fill you up with My messages. ~God

Can you hear Me now?

Lord, we want to hear You. Please help us to tear down and erase any old messages that would keep us from hearing Your  voice.

I would love to hear your comments and I would love to pray for you as well. 

Unwrapping the gift of God's precious voice,

Kelli

linking with my friend, Joy at...

and 

Walk In It : eMpowering Mondays

I just have to say, GOD IS GOOD. 

I have just returned home from the women's retreat I told you about on Friday. God was wonderfully present, amazingly powerful, and extremely purposeful. His gifts were too many to count. But I am going to try to unwrap them for you so that you can share in them, too. 

Three words stuck with me personally all weekend. I shared them with a few people, but mainly tucked them deep in my heart for myself and asked God to continue to unfold their meaning for me.

WALK IN IT.

photo credit: St. Stev on Flickr

Walk in what, God? Walk in your footsteps? Walk in a door? Walk in peace? Walk in love? Walk in what, God?

WALK IN IT.

Since the end of March, I have been memorizing and meditating on the rich verses of Ephesians 3: 14 - 21. 

¹⁴ For this reason I kneel before the Father, ¹⁵ from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. ¹⁶ I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, ¹⁷ so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, ¹⁸ may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, ¹⁹ and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. 

²⁰ Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, ²¹ to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. 

These first five verses have permeated my very being with the vastness of God's love for me. How this kind of love beats out every bit of head knowledge I have about God's love. It is a heart thing. This love fills us up so much with God's heart that we don't NEED anything or anyone else. So hard to comprehend this. But I try.

Then I began to get excited about the last two verses. The idea that MY GOD IS ABLE. That His work is immeasurable. That He is not limited to my queries or my imagination. And He uses us to accomplish His work because He has empowered us with the kind of power that raises the dead! He is able and He is glorified.

I used these verses when I spoke to a church in Caracas, Venezuela in May. At a Kids Camp in June, I spoke on these same verses. And then again, at Bethesda Baptist's Homecoming Service, just a week ago. God has planted me here in Ephesians 3 and hasn't let me leave for some time now. But this weekend, it was the three words.

WALK IN IT.

Still not knowing exactly what this meant, I decided to do a word search for walk in the New Testament. Of course, with that word being so common, there were lots of references. But the Lord had me land on this one:

I want you to get out there and walk—better yet, run!—on the road God called you to travel. I don’t want any of you sitting around on your hands. I don’t want anyone strolling off, down some path that goes nowhere. And mark that you do this with humility and discipline—not in fits and starts, but steadily, pouring yourselves out for each other in acts of love, alert at noticing differences and quick at mending fences. (Message Version)

You know where these verses are? Ephesians 4: 1-6. Yes. The very next verses after the ones I have been planted in for six months or more. I think that God wanted me to realize His great love for me and believe that He is able...before I could walk on this road He has called me to travel.

I've got my bags packed, God. Full of your love and power, I am ready to WALK...EVEN RUN IN IT. Help me to run with humility and discipline, not allowing the enemy to speak lies of inadequacy or condemnation. Let me pour out myself on behalf of others. Let me walk in it with You at my side.

Do you know the vastness of His love for you? Do you know that He is able to...? And are you walking in His calling for you? Stay tuned...we will talk more about this on Wednesday. Please comment and allow me to pray for you.

Unwrapping the gift of walking in it,

Kelli

Linking up with one of my favorite groups...

Presence Filled Fridays

We are introducing "Presence Filled Fridays" today and I am so excited to talk about Emmanuel, God with us! 

Have you ever felt like the Lord may have forgotten you? I hope that you will read this post today filled with God's Word and encouragement and learn to trust His Presence!

Shout for joy, you heavens; rejoice, you earth; burst into song, you mountains!

For the Lord comforts his people and will have compassion on His afflicted ones.

But Zion said, “The Lord has forsaken me, the Lord has forgotten me.”

Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne?

Though she may forget, I will not forget you!

See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands... Isaiah 49: 13 - 16

Shout! Rejoice! Burst into song! Why? Because we have a God who COMFORTS us. That word comfort means to breath forcibly, console, or have mercy. Our God intentionally and powerfully breathes His sweet breath of grace and mercy on us in a way that we feel it. We recognize it. We are enveloped by it.  


And the Lord has compassion (deep love, tender mercy) for HIS afflicted ones. He knows when we are depressed -- in our mind or in our circumstances. And He longs to express His deep love and tender mercy toward us if we will receive it.


But we are sometimes like Zion (Jerusalem) and say, "I feel like You have left me all alone, God.  Are You oblivious of me? Are You even aware that I exist? You seem to be blind and deaf to me and my circumstances. Have You forgotten me?"


I have been in that place. I have felt like I was no longer on the Lord's radar.  That somehow I was no longer of concern to Him. I was totally engrossed in my own situation and felt alone and abandoned. How could God forget me?


It is difficult for us to imagine a mother forgetting her child. Even more so, a mother who is nursing will be reminded by her own flesh that she has another life in need of her. But in the darkest of situations, unfortunately, it can be possible for a mother to neglect the baby at her breast. But our God will NEVER, NO NOT EVER  forget us. It is impossible for Him to forget you, friend. It is against His very nature. He is in covenant with us and He will never leave us or forsake us. Rest in the promise of His presence even when you don't feel it. Even when we don't feel that breath of comfort and tender mercy. Trust Him. Trust His Word. 


God has engraved and inscribed our individual names, our very lives on the palms of His hands. When those nails punctured our Savior's hands on the cross of Calvary, our lives were literally "cut into" his gentle, caring palms. He cannot forget us. He is our God. And we are His people. 


So what about you? Have you felt forgotten? Overwhelmed or depressed by your circumstances? Let the God of Comfort remind you that He has you etched in the palm of His hand. Rejoice knowing that He is there to comfort you, to love you deeply, to soothe you, to have mercy on you. Trust His Presence. 


Where are you today? Feeling abandoned by Him? Or maybe today you are very aware of His presence.  Please share and comment below...I would love to hear from you and pray for you. If you are reading by email, please click here to comment.


Unwrap the gift of His loving Presence today,
It is yours to unwrap!


Kelli

Linking with Soli Deo Gloria...