He Speaks... (She Speaks Takeaway Part One)

It has taken me a long time to process She Speaks 2011.  In fact, I am still working through some of the things God was speaking to my heart.  But I wanted to go ahead and share my initial responses. 

It all began in May of 1990.  I was near the end of my freshman year in college.  I was a part of a ministry on campus and decided to attend a state conference.  I don’t remember much about the conference sessions or even who was there.  What I do remember vividly is that I found myself walking the aisle on Sunday morning and stating that I was feeling called into ministry.  Vocational ministry.  I remember reminding God that I was a girl (ha!) and that I had no clue what in ministry I would or could do.

I was a Communications major.  I loved all the classes that most people hate...public speaking, interpersonal communications, etc.  My goal when I began college was to take Joan Lunden’s place on Good Morning America.  (I knew she had to get old one day.)  So, this day in May when I committed my life to vocational ministry, I had no idea how God would use the gifts and skill set He had given me.  I just knew that God had called me and that my desire to become known became engulfed by the desire to make Him known.  I pursued seminary. And that began 21 years of ministry...with youth, children, college students, women, and adults of all ages.

God has incredibly blessed me with opportunities to share His love and grace with so many different people in many different places...even internationally in Greece, Bulgaria, Venezuela, and Australia!  I feel humbled and honored that God would use me in these ways. 

So, why did I find myself at She Speaks in Charlotte, North Carolina a few weeks ago?  Because since September of last year, I have felt like God was leading me to step out of my comfort zone.  Though I have always enjoyed speaking and writing occasionally throughout my years in ministry, I have often found myself giving excuses to God as Moses did in Exodus 3 – 4.

“Who am I, Lord, that I should speak and write about You?  Why me?”

God:  “I will be with you.”

“Suppose I do speak and write and the world asks who do I think I am doing this?”

God:  “I AM has sent you...that is enough.”

“What if they doubt that You called me?”

God:  “I will reveal Myself to them through you.”

“Lord, there are many others who speak and teach so much better than I do.”

God:  “Go.  I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.”

One of my previous posts was about Preparing for the Amazing.  Well, the Amazing God did amazing things.  God spoke very specifically, very graciously through His Word, His people, and circumstances at She Speaks.

His Word:

The theme for my 3 minute message in my evaluation group:  “To Him who is able to do immeasurably more than we could ever ask or imagine, according to the power that is at work within us, to Him be the glory!”  Ephesians 3: 20 – 21

God:  “Do you believe that verse, Kelli?  More than you could ever ask or imagine!”

My quiet time passage a week before the conference:  “Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction.”  2 Timothy 4: 2

God:  “This word is for you.  I will work out the details.”

His people: 

A new friend at She Speaks says,  “I just feel the need to tell you to stick to your message.”

God:  “Don’t be swayed by flattery or attention, stick to the message I have given you.”

A gracious keynote speaker says to all of us, “You are uniquely, profoundly, specially gifted.”

God:  “I made you, what do you expect?”

My evaluation group leader writes, “You are so gifted at teaching God’s Word...Keep teachin’ the Word, girl!

God:  “Follow hard after me.  Study my Word.  I will give you opportunities to share.”

Circumstances:

I wish I could share with you all of the divine appointments and God moments, but there are way too many and several are very personal.  Let’s just say that God used several people to affirm me as a speaker and a writer.  From the evaluation groups to the publisher appointments, God used circumstances (crazy circumstances!) to absolutely confirm that He had a message He wanted me to share. 

God reminded me of my initial calling 21 years ago when I didn’t know what He would do with a crazy girl with my gifts and skill set.  Interesting that the Greek word for preach is kerusso, which can also mean:  to proclaim; to publish.  Did you get that? Proclaim and publish?  Speak and write?

God, You have spoken.  My response:  to listen.  And obey.

My friends, what is God calling you to do?  What will your response be?  Please comment so that I can pray for you!

Preparing for the Amazing

The day I finally decide to sign up for the Proverbs 31 She Speaks conference, I go to the website only to find out the conference is full.  Bummer.  I am placed on a waiting list that is who knows how long. Wait?  Wait.  That was mid-April.
May came and went.  Nothing.


June 9, I receive a phone call.  My name was up on the waiting list.  I have 24 hours to decide.  God says go...through the voices of some wonderful people in my life.


What now?  Do I prepare for a speaker evaluation group?  No, I am on the waiting list for that.  Do I prepare to meet with a publisher?  No, I am not ready for that.  


June 23,  I find out that I am in a speaker evaluation group, and that there are publisher appointments still open.  In a moment of crazy ridiculous boldness, I make two appointments with publishers.  I know that this means I will have to work on a proposal and a pitch sheet for my bible study.  The conference is a month away.  I am insane.


June 25, I leave to go on a week vacation to the beach with my family.  God clearly says do not work on She Speaks stuff while I am with my family at the beach.  The days are counting down.  I am resistant, but obedient.


July 2, I return from the beach.  I am rested.  It's a good thing because re-entry is always hard.  Laundry, emails, and snail mail demand my attention.  What about a book proposal or a pitch sheet for my publisher meetings?  And as I read the She Speaks attender Facebook page, I realize that I also need business cards, an awesome blog, a speaker promotional sheet, a twitter account, a Facebook page, the list goes on.  What????  There is no way.  

July 4, I wake up with a spring in my step.  I will do it all!  I begin a new blog (my old one had 3 entries in two years!); I create a Facebook page; I begin working on business cards, speaker biosheet, and my other things for my publisher meeting.


July 5, I wake up sick.  Stomach is all messed up.  Mind is spinning. God says STOP.  Though I don't take any medicine, the Lord puts me in a deep sleep for about 8 hours.  I worry I will not sleep that night, but I sleep another 8 hours. What is the Lord teaching me?

Early in the morning Joshua and all the Israelites set out from Shittim and went to the Jordan, where they camped before crossing over.  After three days the officers went throughout the camp, giving orders to the people: "When you see the ark of the covenant of the LORD your God, and the priests, who are Levites, carrying it, you are to move out from your positions and follow it.  Then you will know which way to go, since you have never been this way before. But keep a distance of about a thousand yards between you and the ark; do not go near it." 
Joshua told the people, "Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the LORD will do amazing things among you." Joshua 3: 1-5


"Follow Me, Kelli.  Then you will know which way to go, since you have never been this way before...and consecrate yourself, set yourself apart for me, for tomorrow I will do AMAZING things among you."


July 6, and for the next 14 days, I am awakened every morning between 4 and 5 am.  And I am not a morning person.  It is as if this is the time that God is using to consecrate me.  I am prompted to pray for people in my church, people in my community group, women that will be at She Speaks. God and I also have some great conversations during this time.  I share with Him my worries, my needs, my wants, my dreams.  He reminds me of His deep love for me and His unique plan for my life.  


I write several more blog posts.  I work on my 3 and 5 minute messages for speaker evaluation. I create business cards, a speaker biosheet, and a pitch sheet for the publisher.  I  create a Facebook page and open a Twitter account.  I read about writing book proposals, but am not able to finish one.  But more than all that, I consecrate myself, I prepare myself, I ready myself for what God wants to do with me.  I spend time in His Word, on my knees, and in worship.


July 20, I meet with my community group.  This is an awesome group of people that prays for one another.  I share with them how God is waking me up every morning at 4 or 5 a.m.  to pray, listen, and commune with Him.  I talk about how incredibly sweet the time is.  And then I tell them how very tired I am.  That I need one good night's rest before I leave.  I am leaving the next day.  


July 21, I wake up.  The clock reads 7 a.m.  I have been asleep for 8.5 hours.  Wow!  Thank you, God.  I receive 3 emails that day from people in my community group.  They were all awakened between 4 and 5 am.  They took my shift!  After I finish packing my things, I leave for She Speaks.  


...And it is AMAZING.  Stay tuned.  I will tell you more in the days to come.


In the meanwhile, what amazing thing is God preparing you for?  And what is the hardest part about His preparation?


I am praying for you sweet bloggy friends...
May you unwrap many gifts today!


Kelli

The Dream of the Gift

Three years ago I had a dream. The vividness of it brings it ever close today. 

The dream.  I walk into a room. And I see Him...Jesus.   He is beautiful. He is sitting on a beautiful throne. And He is holding something. As I look closer I see that He is holding a beautifully wrapped gift.  It was wrapped in exquisite paper and topped with a perfect huge bow.  I look into His eyes and ask, "Is that gift for me?" He peers into my eyes, into my soul, and gently gestures me to come closer. And then I wake up.

When I had that dream three years ago, I was going through one of the most painful and difficult times in my life. That painful situation had left me feeling raw, numb, and abandoned. I felt unworthy, inadequate, unusable.  Though I had been very involved in ministry, this situation had made me seriously doubt my identity, my mission, and whether or not I would ever be involved in ministry again.  

Then the dream.  Though it took me a while to process what God was saying to me, I realized that His main message was that the painful trial I was going through was indeed a gift. A gift only realized if I came closer to the Gift Giver Himself. That's why when I asked Him in the dream if the gift was for me, He only responded with a gesture to come closer to him.  My trial a gift?  I didn't understand, but I trusted that He would continue to reveal Himself to me.

That painful situation necessitated that I leave a very comfortable zone and head straight into one that was unknown, uncomfortable, even unraveling.  I enjoy new things, new challenges, but I don't enjoy discomfort.  I am just being honest.  But I was devastated and needed restoration and rebirth.  As Ann Voskamp shared in a recent post, "It's only in the uncomfortable places that we can experience the tenderness of the Comforter." It was in that place that I received the gift of His intimate Presence. He longs to meet us all there. He is the God of all Comfort, the Father of Compassion.  

2 Corinthians 1: 3 - 5, says "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comes alongside of us when we go through hard times, and before you know, he brings us alongside someone else who is going through hard times so that we can be there for that person just as God was there for us."  (NIV, MSG)

Looking back now, I realize what a gift that painful experience truly was. For it was in that pain, in that open wound, that I sought the comfort of my Savior in a way I never had before. His Presence was soothing, healing, and life-giving.  He was IT for me...and He was enough.  He was truly my All in All.  He restored my soul and my mind.  He reminded me that my identity could only be found in Him, not in other people, titles, or even ministry.  He not only restored my mission and ministry, He expanded it!  

Unwrapping the gifts of His presence, purpose, and power has now become the message I feel He has given me to share with others. Sharing and marketing that message is another trip out of my comfort zone! However, this time, I take the trip out of my comfort zone, not out of obligation, but out of desire. Because I know that being out of my comfort zone means being in the arms of the God of all comfort. And that's a gift!

As I write this, I am praying and preparing to go to a conference in July offered by Proverbs 31 Ministries called, "She Speaks Conference." I have known about this conference a couple of years, but have been unable scared to attend. Lysa TerKeurst, author of Made To Crave and When Women Say Yes To God, is one of the women on the Proverbs 31 team and I look forward to learning lots from her and many other women.  The conference is for speakers, writers, and leaders "to receive the tools and the confidence to answer God's call on your life." I consider it such a blessing to be able to go and I look forward to listening to God and being obedient to His leadership in my life.  

I am asking for your prayers as I attend the conference.  I am on the Speakers Track and will present a short message to two different groups for evaluation.  I am excited about receiving feedback and encouragement from women with similar callings and love for the Lord.  In addition, I am FINALLY meeting with someone to discuss the bible study I wrote based on 2nd Corinthians.  And it scares me to death, but I also have two meetings with publishers to "pitch" my bible study.  I don't know if it's because I am turning 40 in October, but I have gotten really brave  crazy these days.  As I write this, my heart beats out of my chest.  Literally- and I am sitting in a chair!

Please pray for God's divine wisdom, guidance, and timing in all these things.  And do me a favor, if you  will, and click to follow my blog on the left hand side of the blog posts.  They say this is important when trying to pitch a book.  Anyway, I hope to blog at least twice a week on God's gifts to us.  I hope you will join me in unwrapping those gifts...  as we move closer to the Gift Giver.

I attended the conference since this posting and it was truly life-changing.  If you would like to read about my trip, you can go to He Speaks and She Listens.  

Any recent gifts from God that you want to share in the comments?

I'd love to know what they are!

Much love and gratitude for your friendship,

Kelli