The Dream of the Gift

Three years ago I had a dream. The vividness of it brings it ever close today. 

The dream.  I walk into a room. And I see Him...Jesus.   He is beautiful. He is sitting on a beautiful throne. And He is holding something. As I look closer I see that He is holding a beautifully wrapped gift.  It was wrapped in exquisite paper and topped with a perfect huge bow.  I look into His eyes and ask, "Is that gift for me?" He peers into my eyes, into my soul, and gently gestures me to come closer. And then I wake up.

When I had that dream three years ago, I was going through one of the most painful and difficult times in my life. That painful situation had left me feeling raw, numb, and abandoned. I felt unworthy, inadequate, unusable.  Though I had been very involved in ministry, this situation had made me seriously doubt my identity, my mission, and whether or not I would ever be involved in ministry again.  

Then the dream.  Though it took me a while to process what God was saying to me, I realized that His main message was that the painful trial I was going through was indeed a gift. A gift only realized if I came closer to the Gift Giver Himself. That's why when I asked Him in the dream if the gift was for me, He only responded with a gesture to come closer to him.  My trial a gift?  I didn't understand, but I trusted that He would continue to reveal Himself to me.

That painful situation necessitated that I leave a very comfortable zone and head straight into one that was unknown, uncomfortable, even unraveling.  I enjoy new things, new challenges, but I don't enjoy discomfort.  I am just being honest.  But I was devastated and needed restoration and rebirth.  As Ann Voskamp shared in a recent post, "It's only in the uncomfortable places that we can experience the tenderness of the Comforter." It was in that place that I received the gift of His intimate Presence. He longs to meet us all there. He is the God of all Comfort, the Father of Compassion.  

2 Corinthians 1: 3 - 5, says "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comes alongside of us when we go through hard times, and before you know, he brings us alongside someone else who is going through hard times so that we can be there for that person just as God was there for us."  (NIV, MSG)

Looking back now, I realize what a gift that painful experience truly was. For it was in that pain, in that open wound, that I sought the comfort of my Savior in a way I never had before. His Presence was soothing, healing, and life-giving.  He was IT for me...and He was enough.  He was truly my All in All.  He restored my soul and my mind.  He reminded me that my identity could only be found in Him, not in other people, titles, or even ministry.  He not only restored my mission and ministry, He expanded it!  

Unwrapping the gifts of His presence, purpose, and power has now become the message I feel He has given me to share with others. Sharing and marketing that message is another trip out of my comfort zone! However, this time, I take the trip out of my comfort zone, not out of obligation, but out of desire. Because I know that being out of my comfort zone means being in the arms of the God of all comfort. And that's a gift!

As I write this, I am praying and preparing to go to a conference in July offered by Proverbs 31 Ministries called, "She Speaks Conference." I have known about this conference a couple of years, but have been unable scared to attend. Lysa TerKeurst, author of Made To Crave and When Women Say Yes To God, is one of the women on the Proverbs 31 team and I look forward to learning lots from her and many other women.  The conference is for speakers, writers, and leaders "to receive the tools and the confidence to answer God's call on your life." I consider it such a blessing to be able to go and I look forward to listening to God and being obedient to His leadership in my life.  

I am asking for your prayers as I attend the conference.  I am on the Speakers Track and will present a short message to two different groups for evaluation.  I am excited about receiving feedback and encouragement from women with similar callings and love for the Lord.  In addition, I am FINALLY meeting with someone to discuss the bible study I wrote based on 2nd Corinthians.  And it scares me to death, but I also have two meetings with publishers to "pitch" my bible study.  I don't know if it's because I am turning 40 in October, but I have gotten really brave  crazy these days.  As I write this, my heart beats out of my chest.  Literally- and I am sitting in a chair!

Please pray for God's divine wisdom, guidance, and timing in all these things.  And do me a favor, if you  will, and click to follow my blog on the left hand side of the blog posts.  They say this is important when trying to pitch a book.  Anyway, I hope to blog at least twice a week on God's gifts to us.  I hope you will join me in unwrapping those gifts...  as we move closer to the Gift Giver.

I attended the conference since this posting and it was truly life-changing.  If you would like to read about my trip, you can go to He Speaks and She Listens.  

Any recent gifts from God that you want to share in the comments?

I'd love to know what they are!

Much love and gratitude for your friendship,

Kelli