A View from the Chemo Room

I felt like a fly on a wall. I was an observer. I watched as all of these adults of all ages sat quietly and patiently as the medicine dripped from its pouch into their veins. I sat next to my sweet mother who is going through chemotherapy for the second time in ten years.


As an observer, I experienced many different emotions and asked God many questions. I didn't watch television. I didn't read magazines. I didn't even blog or tweet or Facebook. I just watched. And listened. And prayed. 

As I did this, I noticed three major things:


1. All these people experiencing treatment are fighting for more life hours. In a room where life and death constantly battle, life is raising her sword and plunging forward. Life doesn't always win, but she fights hard. I pray for eternal life for all of these people because I know that is the only way life really wins. 


2. There is a kindred spirit in this room. They may all suffer from various types of cancer, but they are all suffering. They smile at each other, share stories of their struggles and their victories, and promise to pray for each other. They understand things that we observers don't. They speak a different language...a dialect of empathy. And though people struggle with various fatal health issues, this is the only issue I know of where people sit in a room and fight together.  There is a quiet sense of camaraderie. I long for their silent strength.


3. All of these precious people receiving chemotherapy have slowed, even halted their schedules. It is amazing how the busyness and business of life is forced to step aside. As I think about this, I wonder if this is one of the way God works good out of this trial. The rat race stops. The pulse slows. The unforced rhythm of grace overrides. I love that I get to spend hours on hours with my mom. We talk in between her drifting in and out of sleep. I caress her hand, her arm, her face. Yes, this is precious time. Time that might not have happened without this unrelenting disease called cancer.


Don't get me wrong. I sure wouldn't have asked for it. But I am trying to live for ONE...the One who created me, called me, and comforts me. I believe that living for One means following Christ with all that I am and desiring to see His purpose and His plan. What are you teaching me now, God? 


I am learning that life is precious. Live radically for a radical God.


I am learning that fellow warriors abound. No matter what we are going through...there is a sister or brother to share our burden. 


I am learning that God is a good God and He will bring good in every situation. His good right now in this circumstance? Slowing down. Resting. Enjoying His presence. Seeing Him at work.


You, friend, are such a blessing to me. I never thought in a million years that I would ever write anything that anyone would ever read. Though some of you I know in real life and some of you only virtually, you are a community of friends, of family, of faith. 


I would love to pray for you. Would you share your struggle with me today? Or maybe something God is teaching you through a situation you are experiencing? Comment below or if you are reading this via email, you can click here to comment.


Living for ONE,


Kelli